I’m bad at writing about myself in a descriptive manner (it’s too conceited for my taste). So I’ll list some random things. Some are neutral thoughts, while others are going to be harsh.
Religion:
My belief in religion is open-ended. I’m pretty tolerant to all religions, despite what people preach.
I wasn’t born into any real religion. I contribute that reason to the Chinese government and a lack of religion in my family. When I came over to the United States, the first people we met were Jehovah’s Witnesses. The people were very generous, not at all pushy, and was a source of English tutoring. My family went to church on Sundays, just as spectators. Never forced into anything except having a good brunch/lunch afterwards. These people became good friends, and I nor my parents care what they believe in. It doesn’t affect us in any manner.
They do have strict beliefs, such as no birthday celebrations. But it doesn’t stop them from living life. I always thought it took a stronger person to commit to a belief rather than to be a naysayer or constant doubter. To live life according to a set guideline is tough.
I follow the Buddhist principles, although sometimes I contradict myself. No religion is better than the others, and each of us chooses different ones for our own reasons. I’m currently searching for my purpose, and Buddhism works well in that sense. Later on, it could be something like Taoism for all I know. In one stage of my life, I could turn to a religion that prays to a God of some sort. Jehovah’s Witness is out, because well, I plan to join the military and they frown upon it. I respect their reason, because “all those who take the sword will perish by the sword – Matthew 26:52″ and other Bible references. But I think they will accept me if I truly wanted to join. Forgive and forget right?
I don’t have much discontent for any religion or their followers. I can see why the Middle East is the way it is, and see how religion fuels the feud. I see conflicting beliefs amongst similar religions and each vowing their own is better. The same goes for wherever religion is dominant. The conservative Americans with their beliefs that challenges science. It’s an interesting debate if people don’t get emotional or condescending. Religion has been and is important to society.
It’s better to be open-minded about this thing. A closed mind is forever ignorant. The only thing I care about is what religious people can and cannot do/eat/etc. Don’t want to take a Muslim to the wrong restaurant.
I missed one word: respect. If you respect someone, they’ll return the favor. I’ll cover more on this in another topic.
Personal Information:
I think I’ve only mentioned my name once in my blog. Someone else mentioned my name in a comment, but I knew that person from school. Not sure if that post or comment is still up. First off, I don’t find a need to reveal my personal information. Knowing my name isn’t going to make a difference in any of the posts I’ve written. Secondly, I’m just not an avid promoter of my own life. If someone wanted to know what I was up to, I’m always online. If they wanted to know more about me, I’d give them a serious answer privately.
I assume that most people can deduce my personal profiles as a joke. I’m not a person of value worth checking out in the first place. So knowing that, I don’t take much effort to present my life in a serious manner. For instance, here’s what I currently I have on my AIM profile:
The perfect shoes for a robbery: Vans Era or New Era. The shoe is so ubiquitous that any footprints left at the crime scene will be dismissed. Commit a crime, leave the notorious “Waffle” mark, and escape. Untraceable.
What does that tell you about me? Absolutely nothing. I sure as hell had a good time writing it though. The inspiration for that thought was a brilliant picture. Does anyone else care? Probably not, but that brings all of us to the same level.
For months, all my Facebook profile said was, “I wish we don’t turn out to be like the Jetsons”. That leaves a lot of room for assumptions, all which I’m not too happy to clear up. But it’s better to be the fucked-up weirdo than the guy who loves beer, boobs, and the bong. That’s information people will take to the bank.
Opinions:
People lack opinions. Not that they aren’t vocal enough, but rather the inability to form one.
I don’t like people that won’t comment on anything. People that say “I totally agree with you” bug the hell out of me. Really? You agree with everything I said? There isn’t any doubt in your mind that my opinion could be wrong? Do you just accept most things as they are without question?
Most things that come out of my mouth tend to aggravate people. There’s something in my words that hit a nerve. If they respond, then it’s a personal sign that their brain is still working. If they don’t respond accordingly, then I assume the person is either ignorant or switched off. Get angry at me! Scream at me! The most stimulating debates occur when everyones’ throats are sore from yelling. The softest person is usually the one with the least to say. The quiet one is the idiot with no opinion on anything.
Pursuit of Architecture/Design:
It was junior year of high school and there was something in back of my mind that told me not to take band class anymore. What were my options? The drafting course sounded interesting and I figured it would help me in engineering, the current pursuit at that time.The course also replaced the time slot that my band class was in without affecting anything.
The drafting course went well and I designed something liveable, but I sucked at physics and any type of higher-level math. Some people can visualize the numbers, but I couldn’t. Too easily distracted by anything else.
In that year, I told my parents that I was going to apply to colleges as an architecture major. They were reluctant at first because I apparently didn’t have the ability to “draw in color”. That might be helpful, but I always thought that an idea is harder to come up with than to draw the idea. A college course over the summer somehow proved that I could draw. Not great, but passable.
Another inspiration from this career choice came from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Seeing people who deserved a better home intrigued me. How many people can’t afford a decent home? How many of them want a better home that’s actually affordable and not a sham? With that, it sparked a short of “low-cost housing” mentality in me. I wanted to design low-cost homes that people can comfortably live in.
Come senior year, I was rolling along with this plan. But my test scores and GPA weren’t good enough for schools that offer an architecture major. So my backup plan was an undergraduate Interior Design degree, and then a Master’s in Architecture. It’s basically the same thing, and I’ll be able to practice Architecture eventually. Personally, I think Interior Design is a much bigger challenge to me. But I do have some ideas that should bail me out during class. It might not be the best way to look at things, but it’s still dealing with space.
My personal philosophy:
Light- Daylight and Moonlight. Soothing and simple gestures of tranqulity. So windows are important.
Nature- The smell, feel, and sounds of nature. I can’t replicate everything, but a little nature inside a home should be interesting. A room with grass as flooring and walls that are permeable. Natural light all day and all night. If you can’t be in nature, bring it home.
Space- I’m a somewhat big person and despise cramped corners and hallways. Can’t even stretch my arms without hitting the wall. A room should not make me feel too big. It should be open. It should make the smallest or largest person at ease.
Those are the only things I care about. Color, style, etc. is not a priority in my mind. Function over form, then slowly incorporate form.
Stuttering:
I’m glad that my problem is only mild. It doesn’t always occur unless I obsess over the thought of a mishap. But it also occurs regardless of what I do.
The worst thing is remembering the bad moments. My personal problem is obsession over the little things I cannot control. A simple self-introduction is hard for me mentally because I’ve had terrible experiences with that in the past few years. “Hello, my name is J-j-j-j…” I usually freeze up there. These thoughts build up and take a toll on me. I haven’t ever cried over them, but it does hit me hard. Hard enough to not want to talk for a day.
Life isn’t difficult for me though. Never been real depressed with this problem. Never blamed anyone, never felt like a victom of some sort. Might’ve asked why to the sky, but I figured we all have a purpose and problem to resolve on our own. Fair enough reason for me to accept. What’s life without difficulties?
Personal Life:
I’ve never been close with people. The closest people I know are my parents and relatives. I have friends and talk to them, but I don’t hang out with anyone. Only had deep conversations with a few people online. Strangely, I found old chatroom acquaintances to be more interesting than my real friends. But that’s mainly due to an age difference.
I wonder amongst different groups, never belonging in any of them. I don’t wish birthday wishes nor do I receive them (it’s actually hidden from everyone). Never invited to parties nor would I actually attend one. If I were to travel around, I wouldn’t ask anyone to come with me. The trip alone is best for my soul. No one would know where I’m going. No messages left. No questions asked.
I’m like a ghost materializing only when I want to.
Being detached from people allows a lot of time for myself. Time to think and ponder about the world. No distractions, obstructions, or interruptions. It’s not always fun but I have a different standard of fun.
