The Path to College

The biggest challenge for me in college is to overcome my mild stutter. Of course there’s no way to get rid of it completely, but if I can at least introduce myself to new people, that would be a great start.

One of my flaws with stuttering is the inability to say my own name. “Justin” is such a difficult word to pronounce when I’m anxious and nervous. If I could say my name, anything else past that will be easy. If I was a normal kid, college would be a piece of cake. If someone can talk fluently, they can ease their way through life. But I highly doubt that any normal-speaking person has the same work ethics as me. The only reason mine is exceptionally strong (as I am to believe), is because I can’t weasel out of predicaments. I figured that if I do great work with few errors, then no one will have to bark at me. Few confrontations, less chance of a stuttering outbreak. And for the record, I have never asked for leniance from any teacher. I expect myself to do 110% and that means going above and beyond what the average student does.

I’m a hybrid between an introvert and extrovert. Pretty easy to talk to at school, sometimes. I listen to everyone, and truly enjoy what they are rambling about. At home or after school is all my time. I don’t care what other insecure students call me to justify their own lives. I do my own things, and if I prefer to be in almost splendid isolation, then I will continue to do so. It doesn’t make me asocial or antisocial (as proclaimed by an ignorant teacher to my mother); it makes me who I am. I’m comfortable with it and so should others.

What does that have to do with college? Well, one thing is that I’d probably end up roaming by myself around the city of San Francisco and its vicinity. I have my little speech impediment and that makes it slightly more difficult to meet new people. As I said, I’m not one to hang out with people after school or on weekends. Of course I like to, but it’s a habit that I have accepted as the norm. College will either break this habit or perpetuate it.

There are only a few things I can control. I may not be able to prevent a word block or predict friendships, but I can control how far I go in life. I can’t expect to be accepted in Army ROTC, but I will try my best to prove why I’m a good candidate. My mild problems shouldn’t hinder me from leading, as giving instructions is somewhat different than conversing. I can’t fortell whether I’ll make it into the Interior Design program, but I can prove why I should be there. And I don’t know whether I’ll pass all my classes or make the right decisions, but I sure as hell can strive for the best options.

So with two more months of school left, I am hoping for it to be done as soon as possible. I’ll miss my old classmates upon graduation, but I’ll meet them again. The few I talk to I intend to keep in contact with for a long time. Even if I don’t see them face-to-face, I’ll have some delectable conversations.

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